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MPD/DID
or is it really Dissociative Survival Skills
you decide and create your own healing path.

 The medical world has always found ways to say and present things in a negative way.  Physicians do their job based on sickness not wellness.  I wish to challenge and have others decide for themselves, which is correct for them. 

My opinion is a disorder is something that is presented in an emotional and or physical manner that is not consistent with understood “normal human standards”.  This is correct for the most part, but one must always have the door open for further understanding and knowledge to enhance what is already learned.  People who have had to survive extreme physical and/or emotional abuse use our human ability of disassociation to survive.  Many used it to a very sophisticated level due to what some experts say is a very high level of intelligence.  In any case, it is our human ability of survival.

If our human ability of survival is labeled a “disorder” how is that correct?

There are perpetrators who understand this concept very well and do not want anyone to see or understand this ability.  They want to keep the world looking at the victims as disorders so their victims can never have any validity in their recovery work.  Let me explain to you what many of these perpetrators already understand to a fine science and the struggles of victims/survivors coming to terms with it. 

There are survivors who split apart in side to survive the atrocities of those who abuse them. The different parts evolve on their own yet together they survive. There are survivors who were systematically abused and forced to split apart inside so the abusers could train the different parts to keep control and ensure silence of their heinous acts upon the victim.

In my case I was systematically abused and forced to split apart by those who raised me.  The sad thing is my abusers understood how & what to do and were willing active participants. When I began to see the other parts and see what they experienced, it was very hard for me to accept because “I” did not experience or know of it.  Yet inside of me I knew it was true.  The final factor that caused me to begin to believe was that I felt the pain, horror, terror etc….  I felt the truth.  The puzzle pieces of my life that never did fit began to piece themselves together.  I then found the courage to see my healing path all the way through. My abusers were to no longer have my life and force me to live in the lie they created for me to believe so they can continue their sick and odious behaviors. 

            I want to share one very important thing with my fellow survivors that made my healing very successful.  Whether you used your dissociative skills as a result of, or systematically forced. The key thing in healing that I learned is internal teamwork with all of your parts.  More to the point, bridging the walls of blindness that separated those that did not know of the abuse with those that endured and survived the abuse. I often worried that too much information would come out and I would not be able to handle the self-awareness through teamwork.  What I realized was as the teamwork began there was not a flood of information to hurt me, but a flood of wanting to be free and a willingness to survive and protect.

 In conclusion my own opinion on integration, therapy and hypnosis.

 I have come to understand as a person goes through their healing process they may or may not “integrate into one”.  Integration is really not the whole point of healing nor should it be the ultimate end result.  I believe that integration is a personal decision and should be made as a whole by all parts involved and should never be forced. Any professional who believes that true healing is not complete until a person is one should just stop helping these folks.  There is much to be learned and you as a professional should re-evaluate your narrow minded view that prevents true healing.  I was fortunate to have a therapist that walked with me as my healing path presented itself.  I was not told or dictated what healing should be or the ultimate outcome.

I have sadly learned and come to believe that our abusers can hurt their victims so severely that complete integration is not possible.  With this thought I believe you can still create true healing in your life.  You can unite as a team to claim your life and live in happiness and love free from those who did this to you.  I believe in honoring all your parts for what they went through to survive as a whole.  It is very important for all your parts to have a right to speak and take individual healing steps. It is very important to honor those who do not want to speak and not take any healing steps if it so compels them.  Those who endured the heinous atrocities have the right to see for themselves the beauty of life they were not allowed to live.  To watch children playing freely with no fear in their life.  To see thousands of people who do not live this way and do not hurt children.  Begin to understand the world for what it truly is with the good and bad and freely be a part of it. Then the chains that bind us to our abusers will begin to break forever.  

I believe that hypnotherapy should not always be used as a means of healing with survivors of satanic ritual abuse. Understand that hypnosis was one medium that these abusers used to create and train their victims. Given this fact the obvious questions comes to mind, Why would a therapist place themselves in the same position as the abuser and use the same techniques that abused the victim?  It may appear to be a means to safely unfold the layers of abuse and information of other parts that come forward and speak.  At the same time it can block true healing for those who were victims of it.  It is also to easy for a therapist to over step their boundaries and takes control and justifies their actions in the name of healing using this medium.  I have seen this many times and it is so sad to me. Please understand true healing and recovery takes place only through self-empowerment of the survivor’s parts individually and as a whole. This gives all of the individual parts the right and courage to come forward to heal or not to heal. Once you present yourself in the same manner and use the same techniques as the abusers the survivor will do and say what needs to be said and done to keep you from hurting them. Why should any of their parts trust you when you look like their abusers and say you are helping them?  Once you have crossed that line you immediately shortchange and cheat the healing process to those that know and understand the things that were used to hurt them. They have been down that road before and punished for believing it. After that they will never ever believe you.  You will have also delayed and jeopardized their safety and internal teamwork. As you place yourself in the same light and call it good, understand clearly, they will cover their ass to survive and you will never know it!  Survivors like us have the ability to use what we did to survive to take apart what they did to us and create our own healing with our own power!   Honor all individual parts by not using what they did to hurt them.  Help them to attain their own power and go through their own steps of healing. Then you will witness the phenomenal courage and strength we possess to claim our own lives.   Shelby